Life will throw you some curve balls every once in a while. The way I see it. You can either catch them and deal with the obstacles head on and find the joy in every minute detail. Or you can let it smack you in the head and let it bury you.
Recently my spouse and I faced a few of these moments back to back… to back. We had to pause our house building earlier than we wanted for the year thanks to an early winter. We went through a last name change for us and our children. And my amazing spouse came out to me that she has Gender Dysphoria. Each their own issue and stress inducing piled together actually caused me to make a few trips to the Emergency Room for severe anxiety leading up to the holidays thanks to some ill-mannered and misinformed in-laws. So where does that leave us now?
Our house was about to have the foundation prepped for pouring. When the ground started freezing earlier than we had hoped. So we are simply waiting out winter in the pretty much finished barn till spring. Then we will break through this permafrost and get the house built this summer.
New Last Name…
This past October we as a family decided to change our last name back to what it was when my spouse was born. That means we are no longer Webb’s. In turn that means this blog will be going through some re-branding as we painstakingly transfer our name from the old to the new. The reasons behind it are extremely personal and we would like for anyone with questions about it to come to us. Please don’t talk behind our backs about this. It honestly has nothing to do with my spouse’s dysphoria despite what some of my in-laws have claimed.
Now to the probably biggest news we have. Some of you whom are friends with my spouse are already in the know. We greatly value your continued friendship and support. To the rest of you some of this may come as a shock or you may just react a lot like I did with a “That makes a lot of sense” and a plethora of comedic moments thinking over the years that the signs were there. N-e who, the person I married over 15 years ago, have known since middle school, my best friend, parent to our children, and love of my life has recently come out with Gender Dysphoria. I feel privileged that she felt safe enough to come out to me and I could not be prouder of her for the courage she has shown in the months that followed with some family shunning us and even more family embracing us and showing us unfailing love and support. This is a major transition as she sheds the veil she has been hiding behind as Joshua her whole life and steps into true self as Karina, my wife and co mother to our horde of children.
Yes we are still strong Christians, and that will never change. We pity those that believe this is wrong and or a sin. It is not anyone’s job to judge us but God’s. Jesus even said, love everyone as I have loved you. Some have mentioned that they just don’t understand her transitioning how God made her, that is not how this works. God made her a woman in a male body. She is a woman, outside influences made her hide who God made her to be. Also made her feel ashamed for who she has known she is her whole life. This has been a huge learning experience for us not just as Christians but also as I have been leaning on our teenager to help teach me the proper terms, pronouns, and language to use in a growing world that is amazing, beautiful, full of joy and so much glitter. We are truly blessed.
The kids and I have never seen her smile so much in our lives. She is happy, we are happy. Our children also see the transitions this has caused in our family and it has been completely for the better. Our amazing children are handling this transition with unfailing love and support, the little girls especially love that they have another mom to play with her hair like they do with mine and help her discover new hairstyles as she grows her hair out.
Personally I have seeked counseling and medication to help tackle my severe anxiety. Through the past few months I have taken the time to set some goals for myself and focus on where I would like our families future to go. I am so thankful to my wife, she has shown me unfailing love and support as we head on to new ventures together. Most of our goals are the same. But we have found some new ones.
Finally I have started a business that I have been wanting to do for awhile but never had the time or support to get it going. I have had my vinyl cutter and have done some hobby projects in the past and small stuff for friends but now have a platform in showing support to my wife and have started a shop called Elderwood Designs. With starting small and working through my stash of supplies we are planning on growing to selling clothing and coffee mugs on top of the decals.
Now, if anyone has any questions about this transition for Karina and our family, please do not hesitate to ask us. We are more than willing to answer any questions anyone may have for us. We just kindly ask that you do not talk about what you don’t know and do not talk about us behind our backs. On that note, if you have any funny memories of “I’ve seen the signs” please share them.